Here are some of the 5 word Webby speech suggestions I got from people. The one I've decided on is not on the list. My favorites are marked with an asterisk.
Anyone need a Web designer?
Greg Knauss should have won.
You people make me sick.
Every good boy does fine.
I didn't prepare a speech.
The Webbys are a crock.
Shop Amazon dot com...fuckers!
This one's for my homies.
Yellow and blue make green.
Thank you Jesuuuuus!!*
I'd like to thank Jebus.
If I wasn't so high on crack, I'd count my words.*
Thanks for nothing, assholes!
Much better than actual respect.
Hello? Is this thing on?*
Fools! Release the giant robot!*
De gustibus non est disputandum.
Kottke: more rock, less talk.
This speech has five words.
Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants.*
Screw it. Who wants pie?
Bees! Bees in my hair!
I'm king of the world!
Paying off the judges worked.*
Thank you, you old bastards.
Thanks! I totally deserve this!
Free Tibet! Down with China!
I am the Web god.
Hot dish is on me!
See you in hell, fuckers.*
The Web is about people.*
Fuck I'm good! Damn good.
Five words is not enough.
I am not a pipe.*
Thank you. Purple monkey dishwasher.
You really really like me.
Nice to see you, Bob!
Whoa! Is this real gold?
Only five words? Well, shit.
Fame is a filthy whore.