Visa is now offering a Titanium credit card. We can only imagine the marketing meeting that led to this:

Head of marketing: “Alright, we need a new credit card. Something for 99th percentile of the wage-earning population.”

Marketing flunky #1: “Isn’t that what the Gold card is for?”

Head of marketing: “Gold isn’t exclusive enough these days. We need a metal with more cachet.”

Marketing flunky #2: “We’ve got Platin…”

Head of marketing: “Platinum’s no good either. Too many Platinum-level products these days. They’ve cheapened the whole thing. Anyone can get a Platinum anything.”

Marketing flunky #1: “How about Diamond?”

Head of marketing: “Good, good. But not a metal and De Beers would sue our ass.”

Lawyer: (nods)

Marketing kiss-ass: “Plus, Diamond has that whole carbon connotation. We don’t want people associating their premium credit card with pencil lead.”

Marketing flunky #2: “Lead? I thought we were talking about carbon?”

Everyone: (blink)

Marketing flunky #1: “You said premium just now. How about that?”

Head of marketing: “That was just an expression. God, think harder.”

Flunkies: “Ummmm…”

Head of marketing: “OK, does *anyone* here know *anything* about science? What’s better than platinum?”

Designer: “My computer is made of titanium. It’s pretty solid. And the screen is huge. Have you seen that commercial with Mini Me and…”

Everyone: “Titanium! Of course! That’s the answer!”

Designer: “That word’s gonna look great on a brushed metal background.”

Head of marketing: “It sure wil…wait, who let him in here?”