kottke.org posts about funny
If you’re like me from three minutes ago and you’ve never seen this video but want to laugh really hard, push play on this little number. You can safely skip ahead to about 0:33…that’s when the action starts.
P.S. Yo Kenji! Why does the gnocchi do that?! (via @essl)
Update: I have not gotten an answer from Kenji yet (to be fair, he just became a father), but the consensus on Twitter is gnocchi and popcorn share some similarities. I will let John Vermylen, who is a Stanford PhD and also runs the pasta company Zerega, explain:
Hydrated starch on gnocchi exterior gelatinizes with temp, forming impervious barrier. Temp builds up inside. Water tries to boil as temp rises, but can’t turn to steam due to barrier. So pressure builds up, which pushes against wall of gnocchi. Eventually high pressure forces crack in that wall, which leads to pressure drop and instant flash off of high temp water to steam.
There’s an opportunity here to make crispy popcorn gnocchi…which brave chef will take up the challenge?
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Switzerland is more than cheese, alps, and a blonde serving cocoa. It’s also the home of the slightly neat-freak mountain cleaners.
via swissmiss
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From across the pond, here’s a list of 10 stories that could be April Fool’s but aren’t. On the list:
Pubs are telling expectant mothers when they’ve had enough to drink.
Entirely unfunny. For a more joke-filled first of the month, you can always get that yodeling game for XBox360.
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“Vocoders are an instantly recognizable synthesizer sound, having been used in popular music since the 1960s. They allow you to ‘talk like a robot’, which while fun, is often not musically useful.”
This from “Introduction to Vocoders,” proves the point that the vocoder does not, in fact, turn a song into music. The voice analyzer/synthesizer system that was originally developed in the 1930s to facilitate early telephony has now become a seemingly inescapable accessory to popular music.
Rapper Ice Cube also awkwardly reflected on the negative effects of vocoders on rap:
“Records sales really not concerned to me as much as doing it my way. And doing the kind of records I want to do. Without some A&R dude trying to tell me to go find T-Pain and get you a voice box. Ya know, all this stupid stuff that they do that mess up a lot of records, mess up a lot of artists.”
This clip of T-Pain v. His Vocoder is the audio equipment equivalent of Stephen King’s Christine, and it certainly backs up Mr. Cube’s claim.
Update: Turns out that the actual device Mr. Pain uses to alter his voice box is referred to as an Auto-Tune, and it’s the weapon of choice for Cher, Kanye, and T-Pain, who seems just as oblivious as this author was. The two machines are entirely different.
Thx jason freeman
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Super Tuesday Surprise: Leading Minsk Newspaper Endorses Candidates in US Presidential Race.
The Democrats have now only two candidates who stand to chance against this powerful phalanx: Barack Obama, senator of City Chicago and nephew of Saddam Hussein; and Hillary Rodham Clinton, organizer of popular solidarity-building women’s breakfasts for discussion of hair-hygiene and of place of woman in American politics, and only official wife of number-one enemy of Serbs and all Slavic peoples, Bill Clinton.
Also: “The Woman: it is also Person!”
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Hasbro is releasing a special “Regular Monopoly” edition of the popular game, following the success of hits like Star Wars Monopoly and Simpsons Monopoly.
[The game] replaces the iconic, high-valued properties of Mariowalk and Luigi Place with its own fancifully named “Boardwalk” and “Park Place.”
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Reaganomics Finally Trickles Down To Area Man.
The $10 began its long journey into Kellener’s wallet in 1983, when a beefed-up national defense budget of $210 billion enabled the military to purchase advanced warhead-delivery systems from aerospace manufacturer Lockheed. Buoyed by a multimillion-dollar bonus, then-CEO Martin Lawler bought a house on a 5,000-acre plot in Montana….
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From the always excellent xkcd, this comic absolutely drips hilarious nerdiness and nerdy hilariousness all over the place. “Oh yes, Little Bobby Tables, we call him.”
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Remember the Transformers movie from this summer? Those were fun times. Here’s a letter to Optimus Prime from his Geico auto insurance agent. “Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.”
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Nation to Ken Griffey Jr.: We Wish It Were You Hitting 765 Home Runs. “They talked about his 1989 Upper Deck rookie card, and how, instead of going down in value with every hamstring injury, it should have skyrocketed in price with his 800th, maybe 900th home run.”
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Twelve tips for travelling across the United States by train. “12. Train Love. I wish you the best of luck in finding a soulmate via subsidized government transportation.”
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The Onion: “Despite the existence of cinema classics such as Citizen Kane, The Godfather, and Seven Samurai, the 2004 film Garden State starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman is some poor fuck’s favorite movie.”
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Arkansan blames liberal Congress for a particularly hot March, made so by daylight saving time. “You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate.” Who needs The Onion with Connie M. Meskimen around? (The headline seems to be misspelled as well…”warning” should be “warming”, yeah?)
Update: Phew, we still need The Onion…the letter is probably a joke. (thx, stephen)
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A letter from the Paleoanthropology Division of the Smithsonian Institute: “We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents ‘conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘Malibu Barbie.’”
Update: Not that there was any doubt that this isn’t a real letter, here’s the confirmation. (thx, sam & sheldon)
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Ken Graney’s Roomba has broken the three laws of Roombotics. “The first law states that the device ‘must not suck up jewelry or other valuables, or through inaction, allow valuables to be sucked up.’ The second law prescribes that Roomba ‘must obey vacuuming orders given to it by humans except when such orders would conflict with the first law.’ The third and final law authorizes a Roomba to ‘protect its own ability to suction dust and debris as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.’”
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Loving article about the little-known transcontinental burrito tunnel linking San Francisco and NYC. “By the time they reach Cleveland the burritos are fully heated through and traveling uphill at about twice the speed of sound.” (via seriouseats)
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Like most of the best Onion articles, this one hovers between absolute hilarity and extremely tasteless: Anna Nicole Smith Finally Reaches Target Weight. “Forensics reports reveal that Smith’s miraculous weight loss began on Feb. 8, when she was discovered unconscious in her Hollywood, FL hotel room.”
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A list of 16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn. “There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.”
Update: This list originated with Dave Barry, but some of the items on the list as no longer his. (thx, michael and justin)
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Roommate Wanted: Share My West Village Pad. “Ideally, you do not have ‘a lot’ of friends (i.e., any). But if you do, they cannot visit the apartment at any time.”
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The Wisdom of Children, including A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table and How College Kids Imagine the United States Government. “FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest! MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!”
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A suggested entry for New York City for Conservapedia, a Wikipedia without the liberal bias. “The city’s population is often reported by the mainstream media to be as high as 8 million — but a rigorous count of actual Americans, using the methods of Adjusted Freedom Demography pioneered by Smorgensen in the Patriot Census of 2005 (i.e., excluding immigrants, Jews, ivory-tower communists, and nonrepresentational artists, and counting only three-fifths of descendants of African slaves, as originally intended by the Framers), reveals that New York City’s population of legitimate Americans is actually only 312.”
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Some other Zapruder films include Nancy Reagan Fells a Deer and Ricky Zapruder’s Birthday Party.
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Things I Desperately Wish Women Would Say to Me on First Dates. “Is that an XXL Magic: The Gathering shirt? Plus five to Gryffindor!” (via fimoculous)
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Tremble funnyman Todd Levin dons the Non-Expert’s hat over at The Morning News to explain how to buy wine. “FANCY SERIF FONT + PARCHMENT LABEL + SOMETHING YOU KIND OF REMEMBERED FROM THE MOVIE SIDEWAYS + $12-$16 PRICE TAG = SUCCESS”
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