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Thoughts from behind the fourth wall

Things Meg said while we were watching Spiderman 2 the other day. She has a small problem with the suspension of disbelief sometimes.

  • This is some sort of fake New York. Why would that pizza place be delivering 40 blocks away? And those pizzas are totally getting ruined the way he’s flinging them around like that.
  • Why is he waiting for her across the street?
  • This is a small New York City; everybody knows everybody else. She hooks up with the newspaper guy’s astronaut son all the way from that crappy house in the Bronx.
  • What’s he doing? Don’t throw that suit away. He can’t afford to get a new one later. Just put it away in a drawer somewhere.
  • He’s just going to stand there and do nothing? Lack of a superhero suit does not preclude good samaritanism.
  • I love Aunt May’s cool mid-century modern furniture.
  • You’d think that somebody would have called the fire department before now.
  • Those are vanilla cake crumbs. That’s not chocolate cake. This movie is infuriating.
  • If those falls were real, he’d be dead! Peter Parker’s an idiot.
  • He’s got loser hair. And look at those arms! What, is he bench pressing Space Shuttles? You don’t need arms that big to be an astronaut.
  • She has droopy boobs. What, they can’t afford to get her a bra?
  • Ooh, a phony El. Now it’s like we’re in Chicago.
  • Isn’t that a letter opener? Who keeps a dagger on their desk?

These are the times that try men’s souls.