Those who think The Onion is real journalism
The Literally Unbelievable blog is collecting examples from Facebook of people who think stories from The Onion are real.
(via ★swissmiss)
The Onion predicts the future
Published in The Onion more than 10 years ago after George W. Bush took office, Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over' is just getting more and more prescient.
Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.
"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"
They probably should get a Pulitzer. (thx, andrew)
Taking The Onion seriously
The Literally Unbelievable blog is collecting reactions from people on Facebook who think articles from The Onion are real. For instance, in response to The Onion's Obama Finally Tells Rambling Tom Vilsack To Shut The Fuck Up During Cabinet Meeting, a woman wrote:
An intimidated verbal threat of abuse in the workplace, by this thug. Never work in its satan life and this is why America is being destroyed. satan hates truth. satan is lies, hate and kills anyone that gets in its way to continue to lie to America & it's idiot followers.
Thug...that's some sort of code word, right? (via ★vuokko)
On Crayon Physics
Petri Purho, the rapid-prototyping enthusiast and mastermind behind Crayon Physics Deluxe, talked to The Onion's A.V. Club about the puzzle's point, the process, and winning the prize.
"I didn't want to do a cheery kids game, where you'd have bright colors and cheerful music."
thx john
A world atlas by The Onion
Our Dumb World is an atlas of the World presented by The Onion. It manages to inform (poorly) and entertain at the same time. For instance, here's their description of Israel:
Home to one-third of the world's Jews and two-thirds of the world's anti-Semites, the nation of Israel is a place so holy that merely walking in it can gain you a place in the World to Come, nowadays often within minutes.
And about the US, "The Land Of Opportunism":
The United States was founded in 1776 on the principles of life, liberty, and the reckless pursuit of happiness at any cost -- even life and liberty.
The atlas is also available in book form.
So many problems
Classic article from The Onion: Somebody Should Do Something About All the Problems.
I hear jabber-jabbering about the discovery of new subatomic particles. What good is a quark to me? Three and a half minutes it takes to cook a bag of microwave popcorn.
Three and a half minutes! Someone is spending a billion dollars a minute to send radio messages into space, and I have to choke down a bag of Pop-Secret kernels that are only half buttered, some not even popped to full puff. God, I pray for a future when the inventor is the friend of mankind.
DNA fingerprinting -- that's what they're doing now. And still strawberries at Bergmann's are $2.99 a quart. It's ludicrous. It's as if we live in the Dark Ages.
Do We Really Want Another Black President
Do We Really Want Another Black President After The Events Of Deep Impact?
Related: the latest episode of This American Life leads with a fascinating piece about how the funny happens at The Onion. In a lovely paradox, it turns out that the process of making funny things isn't all that amusing...the sound of silence following the recitation of a funny possible headline in the writers' room is deep and unnerving. (thx, marshall)
In his latest opinion piece, 9/11 Is Over,
In his latest opinion piece, 9/11 Is Over, Thomas Friedman leads off with a description of an Onion article and then gets in some zingers of his own:
We don't need another president of 9/11. We need a president for 9/12.
9/11 has made us stupid.
Guantanamo Bay is the anti-Statue of Liberty.
Those who don't visit us, don't know us.
Fly from Zurich's ultramodern airport to La Guardia's dump. It is like flying from the Jetsons to the Flintstones.
The Onion: "Despite the existence of cinema
The Onion: "Despite the existence of cinema classics such as Citizen Kane, The Godfather, and Seven Samurai, the 2004 film Garden State starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman is some poor fuck's favorite movie."
Ken Graney's Roomba has broken the three
Ken Graney's Roomba has broken the three laws of Roombotics. "The first law states that the device 'must not suck up jewelry or other valuables, or through inaction, allow valuables to be sucked up.' The second law prescribes that Roomba 'must obey vacuuming orders given to it by humans except when such orders would conflict with the first law.' The third and final law authorizes a Roomba to 'protect its own ability to suction dust and debris as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.'"
When I saw the title for this
When I saw the title for this article -- 'Most E-Mailed' List Tearing New York Times' Newsroom Apart -- I said, hey this is going to be pretty interesting. But then I click through and it's The Onion. Which is funny and all, but I'd rather read a real article on the effect the most popular lists have on the decisions made by the editorial staff at the Times, the New Yorker, and other such publications.
Like most of the best Onion articles,
Like most of the best Onion articles, this one hovers between absolute hilarity and extremely tasteless: Anna Nicole Smith Finally Reaches Target Weight. "Forensics reports reveal that Smith's miraculous weight loss began on Feb. 8, when she was discovered unconscious in her Hollywood, FL hotel room."
The Onion: I Support The Occupation Of
The Onion: I Support The Occupation Of Iraq, But I Don't Support Our Troops.
Area Man Accidentally Responds To Own 'M4
Area Man Accidentally Responds To Own 'M4M' Ad. "He lives right in my neighborhood, he's a professional, and he loves to work out -- he sounds sexy."
Two interviewers for The Onion AV Club
Two interviewers for The Onion AV Club talk about how they prepare for doing interviews. "First, I think about what I might ask subjects if I were at a party with them, just making conversation. Then I read as many interviews as I can find with the subject, so I can avoid asking questions that have been asked a thousand times, and steer around the pat answers."
Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks. "
Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks. "Weren't Sun Chips healthy enough for you, you goddamn hippie bastards?"
Area Man Finally Works Up Courage To Sexually Harass Secretary.
Area Man Finally Works Up Courage To Sexually Harass Secretary.
This Onion story is right on the
This Onion story is right on the edge between humor and tasteless: Kent State Basketball Team Massacred By Ohio National Guard In Repeat Of Classic 1970 Matchup. I laughed, but I felt bad about it.
Modern-Day John Henry Dies Trying To Out-Spreadsheet
Modern-Day John Henry Dies Trying To Out-Spreadsheet Excel 11.0. "Now, 20 rows down, the accounting's hard as granite -- it's the hardest thing an office man can stand, but you keep your pencil sharp, and you keep your pencil working. It's the life of a numbers-crunchin' man."
The Onion moved to NYC from Wisconsin
The Onion moved to NYC from Wisconsin five years ago. Lessons learned? "If your life is going nowhere, don't try, and it'll all work out."
The Onion provides a list of new
The Onion provides a list of new guidelines from the Transportation Security Administration. "Vermont and New York cheddars can be brought on board, but not Wisconsin cheddar -- by far the sharpest cheese in the cheddar family".
The Onion: Lance Armstrong's Endurance Tested By Sheryl Crow Concert.
The Onion: Lance Armstrong's Endurance Tested By Sheryl Crow Concert.
Dear The Onion, please stop paginating your
Dear The Onion, please stop paginating your stories. I know you're trying to increase your ad real estate, but it's annoying to have to click to read more, especially on shorter stories. From now on, when I link to stuff like this excellent Errol Morris interview, it's going to be to the handy one-page print version with zero ads. NY Times, Salon, WaPo, Wired News, that goes double for you.
The lofty world of food reviewing gets
The lofty world of food reviewing gets some much needed profanity and street-sensibility in this article, Food Critic Tears Radish Canapes With Salmon Mousse A New Asshole (The Onion, of course).
Nifty "straight man" redesign of The Onion.
Nifty "straight man" redesign of The Onion. Khoi Vinh of Behavior explains how the design was realized. (via waxy)
The Onion: Police Search of Backpack Reveals
The Onion: Police Search of Backpack Reveals Explosive Bestseller. "The Union Square bestseller is the latest in a series of dramatic items discovered in New York since random subway bag searches began. On July 27, a hip-hop CD containing over 75 F-bombs led to the suspension of train service for 18 hours."
Our Global Food-Service Enterprise Is Totally Down
Our Global Food-Service Enterprise Is Totally Down For Your Awesome Subculture. "In fact, the crazy, unique, cutting-edge stuff you're into now? The entire management team here in the North American headquarters was totally into that sh*t a couple months ago! No lie, dawgs."
"Amazing New Hyperbolic Chamber Greatest Invention In
"Amazing New Hyperbolic Chamber Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Ever". "Popular Science quickly placed the chamber on the fold-out cover of its next issue, which reads, 'FUCKING AWESOME!!! THE BALLS-OUT H.C. IS 40 TIMES BETTER THAN SEX... AND COUNTING!!!'"